


Not Free

by TheFluffyPrince



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Frottage, Language, M/M, OOCness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-21
Updated: 2013-11-21
Packaged: 2018-01-02 06:37:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1053666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFluffyPrince/pseuds/TheFluffyPrince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin and Haruka had a rough break up years ago and are both trying to get over each other to start anew. But sometimes, freedom isn't something that is easily acquired.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Free

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So when I'm actually supposed to be writing, I often find myself distracting myself by going through tumblr. Because why work when I can go on tumblr and amuse myself? Anyway, while I was exploring the RinHaru tag, I saw this one post about Rin and Haruka being ex-boyfriends, but still missing each other.
> 
> Based on a prompt post on tumblr.
> 
> And as always, my sense of pacing still kind of sucks.
> 
> Pairing: RinHaru (both past and present)
> 
> Warning: Language, angst, yaoi, frottage, OOCness
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Free!/Swimming anime

**[** _I miss you..._ **]**

**[** _Can we please talk?_ **]**

**[** _I really want to see you again_. **]**

Haruka's heart beat rapidly in his chest as he saw the three texts on his phone, coming one after the other, spaced several hours apart. There had been no warning over the texts coming, they just came. Sometimes, he got them while he was in class, and other times he would get them while he was soaking in the bath. But most of the time, they came well after the sun had set, away from curious eyes and in the safety of the night. He usually was in his bed playing around with the apps on his phone when the first one would come in.

They always started out the same. _"I miss you..."_. And every one of them drew out the same feeling in him. His heart would clench up and he would bit his lip harshly to keep himself from reacting. He would tell himself he would delete the message, each and every time. He would select the message and let his finger hover over the delete option, staring at the words that haunted his memories. He would try to force himself to delete the message, but it always ended the same way. He would sigh and his vision would blur with unshed tears before he threw his phone against the bed and took in a shuddering breath.

And then the next message would come in.

It always started the same way. It always ended the same way. And Haruka couldn't do anything to stop it, no matter how much he wanted to move on and become free.

He could never be free.

* * *

Rin wasn't sure when this had started. One moment, he had been texting with his sister, who was in a different school system because their parents had divorced. Then the next moment, he found himself scrolling through his contacts until he stopped on his name. _His name._  Just the sight of the familiar letters made him bitter and blistering mad. He wanted to rip the name to shreds, wanted to throw his phone down the drain and erase all traces of his presence.

But something was holding him back.

He found himself starting at his name until he finally clicked on it. His heart was hammering in his chest and he was mentally trying to figure out what in the world he was doing. His fingers seemed to have a mind of their own, typing out a short message before clicking send. His mouth fell open and his eyes widened as he watched the little animation of his text being sent.

He told himself that he wouldn't send anymore. He told himself that he would stop. That he would delete the number from his phone and just be done with him for good and move on with his life.

But he couldn't stop.

* * *

"You are such a fucking  _idiot_!" Rin snarled in Haruka's face, heat rising to his cheeks and eyes blazing.

A scoff left Haruka's mouth and he rolled his eyes at the red-head before ignoring him, moving his attention back towards the fish that he was slicing up. His face was blank, giving away nothing about how he felt at the moment. But anyone who was close to Haruka could tell that he was just as angry as Rin was at the moment. The space in-between his eyebrows was twitching and his eyes were narrowed ever so slightly. His jaw was clenched tight and his nostrils were flaring every few seconds. While not as obvious in his anger, he was just as dangerous, perhaps more so than Rin.

He could hear Rin behind him, still ranting and snarling at him like he always did when he came over. He didn't come over of his free though. At least, that was his excuse every time that he showed up on Haruka's porch. Nope, every time that Haruka demanded to know why he was there, he would always go back to the excuse that they were supposed to be having these meetings. The meetings had been Makoto and Nagisa's idea, a plan to try and get them to be more civil with each other. And while at first, that seemed like a good idea, the flaws in their plan were too obvious to be ignored. The fact that Rin and Haruka pretty much hated each other went without saying, as did their arguments over the stupidest things. Last week, they had ended up fighting over who cleaned the kitchen. And the week before that, they had fought over a lost pair of chopsticks.

There was a lot of animosity between them that refused to go away, no matter how many "meetings" they went through. They were better off just not meeting up at all.

And yet, every week, both Rin and Haruka found themselves in the latter's house. It was confusing to those on the outside, who did not know the males well enough. Even for Nagisa and Makoto, they were confused why both of them put themselves through the constant torture, after months of no progress.

And truth be told, neither could really tell why.

"Could you get your disgusting face from over my shoulder. I don't want your slobber all over my fish," Haruka finally snapped when Rin pressed himself against him.

"Then stop fucking ignoring me, jackass," Rin snapped right back, forcing Haruka to turn around to face him.

The two males locked eyes, glaring at each other heavily. Neither said anything for several minutes, much more absorbed in glaring at the other. A small snarl came back to Rin's face, one which Haruka mirrored. Noticing the movement, Rin's eyes narrowed and he stepped towards the other male, noticing that he mirrored that movement as well.

"Why are you so fucking  _annoying_?" Rin growled out.

"Why are you so  _immature_?" Haruka asked back, clicking his tongue.

A groan of irritation left the red-head's mouth and he threw his hands up. He was really starting to get annoyed with Haruka's smart ass comments. Why couldn't he answer one question without giving one of his own? He was like a fucking parrot, copying what others did just because he could.

It really pissed him off.

Moving closer to Haruka until he was pressing the other male against the the counter. A look of surprise came over Haruka's face, which brought a faint feeling of satisfaction to his veins. However, the surprised look was quickly replaced by one of annoyance. He saw movement out of the corner of his eyes and noticed when Haruka's hands moved up to his chest, about to push him away. However, before the other male could do what he was intending, Rin grabbed a hold of both wrists, drawing a noise of shock out of Haruka's mouth. He forced them down by the other male's sides so that they couldn't move at all. Haruka struggled in his grip for several moments before he eventually slumped in defeat, glaring harshly at him.

Silence floated around the kitchen for a moment and Rin's eyes flickered back up towards Haruka's after they had stared at where he was still gripping onto the other male's wrists. The two stared at each other for a moment, not able to look away for a moment. Rin took in a deep breath, finding himself suddenly breathless. And by the look of things, Haruka seemed to be in the same predicament as he was.

Rin's eyes flickered down a bit to look at Haruka's lips for a moment, following the movement of the other male's tongue. Gulping softly, he looked back up into Haruka's eyes before he moved forward.

Everything happened so quickly that neither Haruka or Rin could truly tell what happened, why it happened, and when it had progressed past the point of almost no return. One of Rin's hands were clutching onto a clump of Haruka's hair while the other was gripping his hip tightly. Haruka's hands were wrapped around Rin's neck in turn, pulling him closer. The kiss wasn't anywhere near gentle or slow. It was rough, biting, harsh, and downright dirty. Teeth clacked against each other while tongue tangled around each other, trying to draw in each other. Their fingers fought for purchase on each other's bodies, clinging to anything that they could reach while still pressed against each other.

Rin growled into the kiss and he clutched tighter on Haruka's hair, causing the other male to cry out softly before biting Rin's bottom lip in retaliation. That started a chain of events of Rin pulling Haruka's hair and digging his nails into the flesh of his hip while Haruka pulled Rin's own hair.

Grinding his body a bit closer to Haruka's, a gasp left Rin's mouth as he felt the lump in the other male's pants. This caused him to freeze for a moment, not quite sure how to react. He knew that Haruka was easy to stimulate, if his erection said anything. Even when they had been together, Haruka had just needed to be teased a little bit before he was writhing underneath him. So, to see him in a similar position right now sent a familiar feeling down Rin's spine.

Smirking, Rin pulled away from the kiss and ground his hips harder against Haruka's erection, dragging out a groan from bruised lips. He watched as Haruka bit his bottom lip, his eyes glazed over in pleasure. Humming in appreciation, he moved his hand down to cradle Haruka's head, brushing his hair out of his face.

"I forgot how delectable you looked underneath me, Haruka," Rin purred with a smirk on his face.

Haruka blinked several times before locking eyes with Rin, eyebrows furrowed. He frowned before grunting in distaste and looking away from the red-head. "Stop smirking like you've won some kind of conquest."

Rin immediately laughed at Haruka's comment, leaning down so that their noses were pressed against each other. The smirk on his face was still plastered on his face, resembling that of a Cheshire cat. He slowly moved his hips back and forth, dragging their arousals against each other. He watched as Haruka threw his head back and moaned, his eyes following the curve of the other male's neck.

"Rin...get off of me...," Haruka panted out, his face starting to get red the more that they frotted against each other.

However, Rin did no such thing. In fact, he increased the pace of his grinding, wanting to see Haruka come apart in front of him. He leaned forward and began nipping at the other male's neck, which caused Haruka to jump and buck his hips suddenly. Rin's eyes grew wide at the movement and he cursed underneath his breath before dragging a hand down to Haruka's behind, fingers clutching to the area. As he moved his hips against the other male's, he pushed Haruka's body closer to him, giving them more friction.

" _Fuuuck_ ," Rin groaned out, resting his forehead against Haruka's shoulder as he felt himself slowing approaching the edge. And based on how tense Haruka was becoming, it looked as though Haruka was as close as he was.

A flinch went through Rin's body as he felt fingers curling themselves back into his head and forced him to look downward. His breath hitched as he felt lips slam themselves against his. He stared down at Haruka with wide eyes, not expecting the sudden kiss. However, he quickly shook himself out of his shock when he felt Haruka finally starting to move his hips against him without his help. Cursing mentally, Rin growled into the kiss before he bucked his hips back in response.

His release was coming quickly, much quicker than he thought that it would. He grabbed at any part of Haruka that he could grab, rutting his body against the other male while he tried to chase after his climax. He broke the kiss when it became too much, gritting his teeth together and snarling out a curse. Underneath him, he could hear Haruka moaning and whimpering. He was writhing against his body, which only made the friction much more prominent.

He needed just one little push, just one more push to get him over the  _edge_...

A soft gasp left Haruka's mouth before he tensed up underneath Rin, body trembling. Faint whimpers were leaving his mouth and it took Rin a moment to process the fact that Haruka actually came underneath him.

That was the last straw for Rin and he dug his fingers into Haruka's arms before he rode his orgasm, bucking his hips harshly. His mouth fell open as he panted and groaned. His hips slowed down slightly, still rolling against Haruka's. He could hear strangled whimpers leaving the other male and he cracked his eyes open (when had he closed them?) to gaze down at him.

A faint smile came to Rin's face as he noticed the faint blush on Haruka's cheeks. Before he could stop himself, he found himself moving a hand up to cup the other male's cheek. Haruka's eyes flickered down to his and they stared at each other for a moment, a lazy atmosphere settling over them. There was a softness surrounding them that hadn't been around the two males in a long, long time.

But just as quickly as the moment came to them, it was quickly taken away when they heard the front door suddenly opening. Eyes widening, they snapped their heads up in the direction of the door. Neither male knew who was supposed to come by that day. As far as they knew, they would be alone. So when Makoto walked into the kitchen with a pleasant smile on his face, both were horrified and shocked. They meant to get up, but for some reason their bodies wouldn't move at all, too frozen with shock. Makoto quickly came to a stop when he realized that he had stumbled into something strange. His eyes widening comically and a blush came to his face before he coughed awkwardly and covered his eyes in embarrassment.

"O-Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt you guys! I'm...I'm just going to...," Makoto trailed off, practically running into the dining room in embarrassment.

Rin and Haruka continued staring at the doorway in shock before they slowly moved their gazes towards each other. Haruka then pushed Rin away from him, a disgusted snarl coming to his face. He wrapped his arms around his body and sucked in a harsh breath. "What the hell was that?!"

"I could ask you that!" Rin snapped back, a displeased frown of his own coming to his face.

Sighing roughly, Haruka combed a hand through his hair and he glared at Rin. "I think you should leave. I think you've overstayed your welcome for today."

Rin scoffed and looked Haruka up and down before rolling his eyes. "That's just fine with me. I'll get out of your fucking hair." Rin snarled out the last word before turning and storming out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

Haruka stared at the spot where Rin had been standing just a few seconds ago before he let out a breath. His legs felt weak all of a sudden and he couldn't hold himself up any longer. Leting himself fall to the ground, Haruka continued staring up ahead, not quite sure how to act at the moment. They had...they had...

They had actually gotten each other off. After months of fighting, arguing, and ignoring each other, they had actually touched each other similar to the days when they had been together. Haruka sucked in a harsh breath and he clenched his eyes tightly together before bringing a hand up to his chest. He felt lightheaded and his heart was racing in his chest. How could this have happened? How could he have let this happen, now of all times? He had thought that he had been fine around Rin. He had thought that he was slowly getting over him. But then, this happens and it felt as though he was right back to square one.

His heart was yearning for that touch that Rin had given him after they settled against each other. It yearned for that look of love and adoration that had been shined towards him. He wanted Rin's touch, his words of love, everything.

Haruka could feel his body starting to shake and he cursed softly. It looked as though he was going to have a breakdown right in the kitchen while Makoto was still in the house. While he had nothing against his childhood friend, he really didn't want to be seen crying over some jackass like Rin. So, when the tears that had collected in his eyes finally fell down his face, he tried to contain his cries, hugging his legs close to him. He sniffed softly, hoping dearly that it didn't echo loudly in the empty kitchen.

However, Makoto seemed to have some instinct that told him whenever something was wrong, because a familiar hand carded itself into Haruka's hair a few seconds later. A whimper left his mouth and he lifted his head up to look at Makoto's worried face. "Haru?" Makoto asked softly.

Unable to say anything, Haruka just shook his head and bowed his head to try and hide his tears. He didn't like crying in front of others, especially over some stupid reason like Rin. It made him feel vulnerable. And there was no way that he was going to be talking about why he was crying. That would make him look even more pathetic. Although he knew that deep down, Makoto wouldn't judge him, he just couldn't bring himself to tell him everything that had happened. Not yet anyway.

However, he didn't put up a fight when Makoto drew him into a hug, rubbing his back in comfort. Instead, he just slumped against him and pressed his face against Makoto's broad chest. A hand moved up to his hair, combing through the loose strands. "Shhhh, it's alright Haru. Just let it out. It's alright...," he whispered to him, rocking him back and forth.

Haruka's fingers curled themselves into Makoto's shirt before he finally broke down completely, sobbing outright. Later on, he'd end up apologizing to Makoto for breaking down in front of him. But right now, he'd take any comfort that he could get right now.

* * *

Rin gritted his teeth as he finally stopped running about a mile or so away from Haruka's house. He wasn't sure why he had chose to run for so long, but he just needed to have something to take his mind off of what he had just done. Exercise always cleared his mind, although this time, it didn't seem to work. The longer that he ran, the more that his mind wandered back to that moment. No matter how hard he ran, or how fast he went, his mind always went back to that moment. What he had done. Who he had just done it with.

How could he have been so  _stupid?_

He wasn't sure what had made him rut against Haruka like he was some horny animal, but he had done it and now he felt disgusted. He felt so fucking disgusted with himself for letting himself lose control like that. He had told himself countless times that he wouldn't let himself get close enough to Haruka that he would end up in a questionable situation with him, and he had obviously broken it. Those meetings had been a bad idea from the start and why he hadn't stopped going after the first one, he wasn't sure.

"Such a idiot...," he muttered to himself before he let himself rest against a nearby tree.

Covering his face with his hands, he groaned for a moment. He had been so close to letting go. All he had to do was just last a few more weeks and he could have been free from Haruka's grasp for good. But now, he had undone all that progress that he had set. Now, he was just as much of a lovestruck fool as he had been back when they had been together.

What a predicament he had gotten himself into...

* * *

"Haru..this isn't healthy. You need to figure out something before you let yourself go down a path that you can't come back from," Makoto said softly while he brushed his friend's hair out of his face.

A grunt left Haruka's mouth and he blinked blankly before looking up at Makoto with a frown. "...Don't you think I know that?" he asked, sighing and closing his eyes.

"I know you know that, Haru. But...you two keep going back and forth and it's killing you. I can see it."

Haruka didn't respond to Makoto's statement. He didn't need to. He already knew that his friend was telling the truth. Every time that he and Rin got closer, he felt on top of the world. And every time that they went back to hating and clawing at each other, it made him feel lower than dirt. He didn't need Makoto pointing that out to him.

He already knew.

* * *

"Big brother, you have to stop this! You're going to end up hurting yourself if this keeps going on!" Kou shouted at her brother from the top of the basement stairs.

Rin ignored his sister, choosing instead to punch at the punching bag that he had gotten several years ago to help with his training regimen. He had been down in the basement ridding of his excess anger for the past hour or so, and his muscles were screaming at him to stop. But he couldn't stop. Not now.

So, he pushed himself on, punching the bag in front of him. He could still hear his sister shouting at him, which only made him angrier. Why couldn't anyone just leave him alone!? He was just fine without anybody breathing down his neck like he was some bomb waiting to explode.

He.

Was.

_Fine._

Giving one last punch to the punching bag, Rin pushed it away from him and snarled, moving out of the range of the swinging bag. His entire body was shaking from exhaustion and anger. Even after an hour of pushing himself to his limit and beyond, he was still thinking about  _him_. He heard his sister walking down the stairs hesitantly, but he didn't say anything to her, trying to reign in himself before he ended up punching something in and possibly breaking his hand.

When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he shook it off instantly and growled, glaring down at Kou. His sister just looked back at him with worry, a sad expression on her face. " _What do you want Kou_?" he snapped, turning away from her and scanning the basement to try and find something to distract him.

"You can't keep doing this Rin. Every time that you see Haruka, you do this to yourself. You need to stop seeing him Rin...," Kou trailed off, moving her hand back to her brother's shoulder.

Rin clicked his tongue in annoyance and released a loud breath. Didn't she think that he knew that? What else had he been doing for the past few months? It wasn't like he was purposely looking for Haruka just so that he could make himself angry. He had honestly been trying to get over him.

At least, that's what he told himself. He wouldn't admit that there was still a bit of longing underneath his cold exterior. He wouldn't tell anyone about the late night texts that he exchanged regularly with Haruka when no one was watching. He wouldn't tell anyone about the side glances that he gave the other male when he wasn't watching.

Because he was completely over Haruka...

* * *

Haruka cradled his phone close to his chest as it neared midnight. The light from his phone spread out a small distance around him, making it a little bit easier for him to see the keys. He wasn't currently texting anyone, but he would be soon. It had become a habit to wait until the first text came, right at midnight. It didn't happen every night, but Haruka was usually able to tell when they would occur.

And tonight, he had a feeling that the text would come tonight.

Right as the clock hit midnight, his phone vibrated gently, signaling that he had a text. Hands shaking in nervousness, Haruka took a moment to calm himself down. Even after so much time doing this, he still found himself getting anxious. He shut his eyes for a moment, taking in several deep breaths to stop his shaking body.

Eventually, his hands ceased their trembling. He found himself still shaking, but it wasn't as noticable as it had been before. Glancing down at his phone, he navigated to his messages, opening the text that had just been left. And, just like all the others, it started the same.

**[** _I miss you..._ **]**

A faint smile came to his face and he brought a hand to his face. He was starting to get flustered just reading the message, but he had to calm down. He stared at the familiar words, his heart skipping a beat. It was ridiculous how those little words meant something to him, especially considering who was texting those words to him. But he just couldn't help it. He missed him too.

While he was staring at his phone, he noticed the light flashing on his phone, alerting him of another message. Furrowing his eyebrows, Haruka exited out of the message for a moment. He didn't hear his phone ring to tell him that he had another message. Going back to his texts, he saw that he indeed had another message waiting for him. This was peculiar, since the second message usually didn't come this soon.

Opening it up, Haruka started at the message for a moment before he released a harsh breath. Well, he hadn't been expecting that at all. Not at all. Out of everything that he had been expecting to read tonight, this hadn't been it. And now, that just made things even more difficult.

**[** _Call me soon. We need to talk_. **]**

* * *

Haruka had put off the call for several days. The message hadn't said when he needed to talk. It just said  _"Call me soon"_. That meant that he could think about it. And think about it he did. He weighed the pros and cons to calling Rin, talking to him for the first time in a while. It wouldn't be pretty, he knew that much. They were both temperamental when pushed too much. So a discussion between them, especially one that implied that it would be very serious in nature, would be one where they would probably arguing. And while Haruka just wanted the fighting to stop, this needed to be done. The air needed to be cleared and in order to do that, they needed to talk.

At the moment, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, glaring down at his phone. Now that he was actually sitting there contemplating calling Rin, actually calling him and not texting him, he was starting to second guess himself. What if Rin didn't actually want to talk to him now after a few days? He had probably been expecting him to call that night, but instead he had waited until now to call. Would there even be a point in calling now?

Clutching tighter at his phone, Haruka shook his head and began dialing the number. Now he was just trying to talk himself out of calling Rin, but he wouldn't fall for his own tricks. He wasn't a coward. If they were going to deal with this problem for good, they needed to talk about it. Avoiding the problem was what had gotten them to this point.

Placing the phone up to his ear, Haruka held his breath as he heard the phone ring. He swallowed and wrung his hand in his shirt, not quite sure what to do at this point. His eyes flickered all across the room, trying to find something to distract him from the twisting sensation in his stomach. He felt really uncomfortable at that point, but he held on. He needed to see this through. So, when the phone stopped ringing, his breath left him for a moment. He felt frozen, not sure what to say or do.

_"Hello? ...Hello?"_

Gasping softly, Haruka cleared his throat before letting out a shuddering breath. "...Rin?"

The line went silent for a moment, which caused Haruka to mentally panic. He contemplated hanging up before he could make a fool of himself. He knew that this was a bad idea. Makoto was right. He should just let this entire thing go and move on-

_"H...Haruka?"_

"Rin," Haruka answered back.

_"Why are you calling me right now? Come to think of it, why are you calling me period?_ " he asked suddenly, confusion and annoyance tinged in his voice.

Huffing loudly, Haruka felt his eyebrow twitching in annoyance. He couldn't believe that Rin had forgotten what he had asked him to do. But then again, this was Rin he was talking about. He tended to forget things that weren't convenient to him. "You told me to call you, so I called you. But obviously, you didn't mean it, so I'll just hang up and let you get back to what you were doing," he bit out. He knew that this was a mistake. He shouldn't have just listened to his gut and not called at all.

Haruka was about to pull the phone from his ear and hit the end button when Rin suddenly shouted out, _"Wait!"_

Freezing suddenly, Haruka didn't make a move. He blinked for a moment, heart pounding loudly. "...What?"

A soft cough echoed through the phone before a throat was cleared.  _"...D-don't hang up. I...please don't hang up..."_

Furrowing his eyebrows, Haruka slowly cradled his phone close to his ear. He was surprised that Rin had shouted out at him to stop so quickly, but a part of him was happy that he had done so. He didn't see as much of a idiot that he had prior to Rin stopping him. However, now he wasn't sure to expect now. So, while still holding onto his phone, he laid himself down on his bed. He licked his lips and nodded his head, even though he knew that Rin couldn't see him. "Okay."

Rin made a noise in response before going silent again. Haruka sighed to himself before staring up at the ceiling. He assumed that the other male was probably just collecting his thoughts, so he remained silent while Rin thought to himself. Eventually, Rin spoke up again after a few moments of silence.

_"So...how are you today?"_  Rin asked softly.

"I'm doing alright." It was short and to the point, but it was true. There was nothing for him to really talk about that was interesting. Dragging out an answer for the sake of a conversation, while probably preferable, was much too uncomfortable for Haruka.

However, Rin didn't seem deterred from his short answer, just chuckling softly.  _"Still as anti-social as before?"_

Haruka just groaned and rolled his eyes. "How about I show you anti-social and hang up?"

_"No! I mean...just...,"_  Rin stammered out, seeming to stumble over his words.

Sighing softly, he pinched the skin in-between his eyes and stared up at his ceiling. Rin's sudden mood swings were starting to take a toll on Haruka, even when he wasn't there in person with him. He wasn't sure what Rin's purpose for stopping him from hanging up was, but he needed to know now before he got too annoyed with him.

"What's the point of this call Rin? It's pretty obvious that things are bad between us. So, why are still even talking?" he asked, suddenly tired.

He was just tired of everything. He was tired of running away from this problem with Rin, but he was tired of confronting it. He just wanted to be able to be free again. He wanted to go back to the time when their relationship had been great, calm and understanding. He didn't want to have to live each day thinking about how much he wanted to punch in Rin's face, or how he could avoid him.

He just wanted to live his life once and for all.

And so, not bothering to wait to hear what Rin had to say, Haruka sat up and brushed his hair out of his face. "I'm done with this, Rin."

_"Wait what-"_

"I'm done acting like we like each other one moment, only for us to turn around and fight with each other. I'm tired of going back and forth like we're on some roller coaster ride. I'm just tired of this Rin. I'm tired," Haruka said, whispering towards the end.

_"But Haru...,"_  Rin trailed off, trying to collect his thoughts.

"No buts, Rin. We can't keep doing this. We're both miserable and we'll keep being miserable if we don't stop," Haruka explained.

_"Haru-"_

"Rin, I know that you can't seem to get over this, and for some reason I can't either. But this isn't helping either of us. We should just stop for good and be done with it-"

_"HARU!"_

Haruka fell silent at the shout, his eyes wide in shock. The shout had caught him off guard and completely wiped his mind of what he had been talking about. He didn't remember what he was going to say, so it took him a moment or two to even remember what he had said previously. However, he held himself back from saying anything. Something about the way that Rin had shouted his name had caught his attention and made him hesitate before he began talking again.

_"Will you calm down and just let me talk for a moment?"_  Rin asked in exasperation.  _"This is exactly why we broke up in the first place. You don't listen."_

Haruka's eyebrows furrowed and he opened his mouth to protest. "What-"

_"No, shut up Haruka. Just fucking listen for five seconds before you start running your mouth with whatever bullshit is going on in that head of your's. You are probably one of the smartest guys that I know, but you can be so fucking stupid when it comes to relationships."_

"Excuse me?" Haruka asked incredulously. "I'm stupid when it comes to relationships? Then what are you? A genius? Last time I checked, you weren't exactly the smartest person in this relationship either," he retorted.

Rin groaned and Haruka could imagine that the red-head was rolling his eyes before slapping a hand over his face like he normally did when he was frustrated.  _"I know that. I know I made mistakes when we were together. I should have done a lot of things, but the same can be said about you too. Neither of us were completely innocent. We both screwed up."_

Haruka didn't say anything. He knew deep down that Rin was right. They had both screwed up. Rin had been too jealous, too rough, too eager to get into arguments. Haruka had been too cold, too distant, didn't spend as much time with Rin as he did with his friends. And instead of fixing those problems, both of them had just buried them. They hadn't talked about them at all. They had found their comfort in other people; Rin with his sister and Haruka with Makoto. And eventually, it had blown up to a degree that could have been avoidable, had either of them tried talking.

At the end of the day, it always came down to talking, something that neither of them were entirely good at.

_"We both screwed up Haru. And there's still a lot that we need to talk about. But...there's something here. I know you feel it just like I do, or else we wouldn't be doing this pathetic dance around each other. I just...,"_  Rin trailed off, sighing towards the end.

Clutching his phone harder, Haruka felt himself leaning forward just a bit. "You just what?" He had a feeling he knew exactly what Rin was going to say, but he wanted to hear it for himself.

_"I still love you, Haru."_

* * *

Haruka sighed as he sat at a lone table at a booked restaurant. He pulled at his collar nervously, glancing around every few seconds. He wasn't sure why he was acting so nervous. He wasn't normally like this, so why was his nerves literally jumping in his body. He was acting like some child going on his first date or something.

Although, he supposed that this might be considered a first date.

Glancing down at his watch again, Haruka noticed that it was close to three o'clock, when the date was supposed to start. He looked back around the restaurant, only to see that nothing had changed. Grumbling softly, he returned his attention back to the table, nursing the glass of water that the waitress had given him earlier.

Rin had told him that he would meet him here at three. And while it wasn't quite three yet, Haruka couldn't help but find himself getting annoyed at the other male. Rin always pulled crap like this. Couldn't he just show up five minutes early like a regular human being?

Glancing down at his watch (again), Haruka noticed that it had just turned three, and yet no sign of Rin. He knew he was being impatient at this point, but he couldn't help it. It was their first "date" since they had talked on the phone two weeks ago. They had talked for hours that day, discussing what would happen to them afterwards and whether either was willing to actually work for the relationship. They then had spent the week after that call just talking. heir lack of talking was what had broken them up ultimately, and neither of them wanted to ruin their second chance by making stupid mistakes.

Hearing the bell connected to the door jingle, Haruka lifted his head up and watched as a familiar head of red hair walked over towards his table. Huffing in irritation, Haruka stood up to welcome Rin, albeit with an annoyed expression on his face.

"You're late," he said simply.

Rin waved off his comment and sat himself down in the chair opposite of his, looking up at him with those insufferable eyes of his. Rolling his eyes, he took his seat and took a sip of his water. "Oh, and I'm not late, Haru. I was here right at the time that I promised," Rin pointed out while he glanced down at the menu.

Haruka simply hmphed before leaning back in his seat. Perhaps it was just second nature for him to pick a fight with Rin. He shouldn't enjoy something like that, especially since they're trying to work out their rocky relationship. But the urge to bite back at whatever Rin said lingered under the surface.

He really needed to work on that...

"So, what do you want?" Rin asked him, not lifting his gaze from the menu.

For a moment, Haruka thought to himself. Truthfully, he wasn't quite sure what he had a taste for. Maybe some fish...he hadn't had fish in a while. Maybe some salmon or some mackerel...

"Fish," Haruka finally said, staring at Rin from across the table.

"You always want fish. Do you want for me to order for you?" Rin asked, finally glancing up to look at Haruka.

Shrugging his shoulders, Haruka glanced around the restaurant. "You can if you want to."

"Alright then. But you're getting something besides fish."

"As long as I can get fish."

"You'll get your fish."

"Okay..."

"Okay."

"...Love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
